Thursday, January 12, 2012


As I'm sitting here tonight in silence, much like a few days ago, I am reminded of how much I have to be grateful for and how truly blessed I am.

I have an amazing husband who loves me for who I am.  Xax is my rock.  He is what keeps me going through the hard times.  He is my biggest support and my biggest fan.  No matter what is going on in my world, I always know I can turn to him and find a shoulder to cry on and a soft place to land.  Lately I haven't been at my best, in a lot of different ways, but never once has he said anything to demean me or to put me down.  I know he loves me unconditionally and for that I don't even have the words to express my love and thanks to him.  I love that I can be myself around him, however nerdy and goofy that may be.  We have a great time together, teasing each other and just enjoying life together as husband and wife.  While others might find it odd, as Xax always says, "Turd is a term of endearment in our marriage."  Neither one of us likes to take life too seriously all the time.

I have a very beautiful, active little girl.  While sometimes I would love a moment of silence while she's awake, I love hearing her jabber and ramble on.  She is the light of my life and I would do anything for my baby girl.  There isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't do something that makes me smile.  While being a parent isn't the cakewalk I was expecting after having 20 nieces and nephews and tending 4 kids for several years, I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world.  She makes me realize that it's the simple things in life that really make us happy.  She can play for hours with a few tupperware containers and some ziplock baggies!  She LOVES Mickey Mouse.  Every time she sees him on TV, it's like she's found a long-lost friend.  She knows how to call "Oh Toodles" and how to do the hot dog dance.  She even knows a few of the words to the "hot dog dance" song.  She is the reason I can't keep a clean house, but I love her more than I ever thought humanly possible.  She's also teaching me to slow down.  She has started taking us by the finger and leading us to wherever she has in mind.  She usually sits me on the couch and then proceeds to play.  She doesn't want me to play with her, she just wants me to watch her and acknowledge what a fantastic job she's doing playing with her toys.

I have the most incredible family, both immediate and extended.  If it weren't for my mom and dad, I don't know how I would have made it this far.  I know for sure I wouldn't be married to such an incredible, amazing man.  They taught me to believe in myself and that I deserve to be treated like a queen.  They always made me feel beautiful and important, and taught me to expect that from my future spouse.  I always knew whoever married Xax would be the luckiest girl in the world, and I wake up every day living that fairy's my life! They are a shining example to me of how I want our marriage to be, and how to raise pretty fantastic kids (I think we all turned out pretty darn good!)

I am so extremely blessed to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I marvel at all the promises and blessings that can be ours if we are worthy to receive them.  I am so grateful families are forever.  Family is a HUGE part of who I am, and I can't imagine spending eternity without them.  I love the temple and spirit of peace and joy that comes from attending.  I still have so much to learn, and I will spend the rest of my life doing so.  Having the priesthood in our home is a constant blessing that never goes unappreciated.  I am so glad Xax is a worthy priesthood holder, and I do my best to support him in that role. I have lost count of how many miracles have come to pass because of the priesthood.

I am so humbled to have such an incredible life and I am going to make a valiant effort to take more time to be grateful, especially for the important things.